GTA V IS OUT! (...says a fellow online gamer)
F E B R U A R Y 4 , 2 0 1 3
Last night, in a valiant effort to draw myself away from that horrible Beyonce appearance at the Super Bowl, I was playing Burnout Paradise online to complete some challenges. We were all chatting during gameplay, and somehow Grand Theft Auto V came up in the conversation. Oh, yes -- that was me! Here is what was said when this other online gamer insists that GTA V is already out.
This conversation is mostly verbatim, except my actual response has been exaggerated for comedic value. Enjoy!
ME: So, yeah, they pushed Grand Theft Auto back to September.
OTHER GUY: Well...I guess I can wait seven months then.
GUY: GTA V? It's already out.
ME: No, it's not.
GUY: Yeah, it's out.
ME. No. Not until September. The release date is September.
GUY: Yeah, it's out already.
ME: NO, It's not. Not until September. It hasn't even finished production.
GUY: It's out! My friend has it; he says it's really good. It's bigger and better than GTA IV. He put videos of it on YouTube.
ME: Oh...wait a minute. Guys, did you smell that? I just crapped my pants in excitement. Do you realize we're all in the presence of this person -- whose friend, the chosen one -- is the only one in the world who has this game!
GUY: Yeah, it's out!
OTHER GUY: (chuckle)
ME: Really, REALLY??? What are you doing here then? Why haven't you gone on the news and announced this already? We're all missing out because o' you! So, this friend -- how many months did it take him to save the one or two thousand dollars to get an early copy from the retail outlet who'd be fined a few thousand dollars to sell it? I work at Rockstar, and I don't remember this happening.
GUY: (says nothing more)
OTHER GUY: You work at Rockstar!?
ME: No, I was just messin' with him.
OTHER GUY: Oh! I was gonna say...!
Sheesh.
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