09-29-2010 12:25 AM
Okay I have been meaning to come onto the forums to post these, and I finally have to the time to write instead of just skim and get back to work ( limited time, and I type EXTREMELY slow )
Alright first (glitch?) is one that I encountered only twice, both times in Valors Sabotage maps, It goes like this:
'As i was patrolling the middle road ( in between A and B i watched a Raven sniper jump up and off a fence multiple times, interested I held my fire, The sniper finally made it on a ( white picket fence?? Not the one near B, but a smaller one near the church, sorry for the lack of precise location ) without sliding off he deployed his bi-pod and was happily sniping away at my squad mates. Distraught with my comrades deaths' I abandoned my vigil and descended upon the foul vulture, eager to spill the blood of the miscreant ( sorry about the narration, I am currently bored, and downloading something, hence why I an writing in these forums ). I switched to my pistol as i thought it a fitting death for one so cowardly, And thus I Shouted with Fervor "Alas You Dog! I will Reft the Very Life Out of You!" ( sadly I did not, as i am not very witty in-game, most of the time ) And Inserted two large pieces of lead into the vulnuable snipers forehead, thus executing him. Amused with his 'End', I stood over his blood-stained corpse and attempted to scavenge his sniper rifle from his cold, dead hands, As I thought it would be a cruel joke indeed to claim the lives of his compatriots with their fallen allies' weapon. HOWEVER when i attempted this I was REFUSED, NAY, REBUKED for I was given instead a PDW-with a silencer! In shock I attempted to gather myself, and retreated to the church, I called out to my squadmates, at my find, but they did not believe me until they stood about me while I swapped my weapons to show both the Raven Machine-pistol and my M9. In my state of astonishment and exuberance I must admit that my battle-field wariness was diminished, and sadly a silenced PDW is no match for a Assault rifle as I soon found out.
That is the first glitch, I believe I know the cause, And you probably know it as well if you read this far ( I'm no Agatha Christie, people ) First thing, when I killed the sniper there was no rag-doll effect, his body froze on the fence and did not 'flop' off to one of the sides. Secondly, I scavenged standing NEXT to his body, not on top of it, kind of like.. you picking up a beer off a coffee table rather than off the floor at your feet. Thirdly, I remembered seeing no "Weapon Text" ( As I expected a rifle, I THOUGHT i knew what i was getting ) this may or not play a role into this glitch, I do not know, Also the 'scavenge' time MAY have been a few seconds longer than usual. and Lastly, this is pure supposition as I grasp for an answer to this amusing glitch, I 'BELIEVE' that what happened when I shouted over proxy chat some random battle cry, the sniper desperately changed his weapon to his PDW but was too slow to move. Again this is just me trying to figure this out
Okay, The second Glitch ( I KNOW this is a glitch )
( By the way, I'll try to make this shorter as I'm quite hungry at the moment, and I'm sure you want to go your merry way )
This glitch I've encounter NUMEROUS times, perhaps 8-10 times in all, and it is quite simple. When attacking Ravens sabotage, Our platoon pushed the opposing side to C and the forward spawn commenced, As I had recently come to a rather tragic end due to a SVER ninja with a machete ( and deep emotional issues ) I chose to wait for the para-drop instead of walking from A and B's spawn. When the Drops started and people began to float lazily down from the sky, and sometimes not so much descend as PLUMMET, as their wild jerking movements failed to protect them against that exasperating sniper ( we ALL know the feeling ) but i digress... As I sailed down on a seemingly peaceful ride down amidst bullet trails and into the comforting embrace of poison gas below, I somehow hit a tree, or another obstacle below and fell without my parachute the last, oh, 15-20 feet. Though the plunge had depleted my health to dangerously low levels, I was relieved, ALTHOUGH the joke was on me, when I attempted to get my bearings and move FORWARD, I was denied, As my movements were inverted. To explain, when i pushed up on my left joystick to walk forward, I walked BACKWARDS, when I tried to move my right joystick to look left, I instead turned Right. And so that is the reason for the second Glitch description, As one one my squad mates graciously pointed out to me "Dude why the **** are you dancing in front of the Temple?" .....................thank you, I was unaware of that fact
I was only relieved of my Michael Jackson impersonation when I requested one of my friends to put me out of my misery
Now, since I have been the unfortunate recipient of this glitch a few times, I have noticed that it only happens when you hit CERTAIN Ledges and corners when trying to move why your still in the air. IE: erratically moving your parachute right and hitting one of the ruins ledges while you suddenly turn left. That's pretty much it of the second glitch, pretty cut and dry
ALSO this message is for the Notification ( and amusement ) of Zipper employees ONLY, I don't care if it's too long and you reply "TL;DR" YOU ARE A MORON WITH A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN, read it if you feel inclined to, however your replies are unnecessary ( of course now I will have multiple replies with 'TL;DR' from 'Incompetent ( read: Impotent ) Forum Trolls' just watch, the internet's full of 'em )
09-29-2010 03:50 AM
Nice narrative, it was entertaining to read.
I´ve never encountered the first glitch nor have I ever heard about it.
Second glitch is familiar and there is remedy for that. Look straight up or down and spin around. After few 360s controls should be back to normal .