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First Son
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

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Dec 24, 2013

My room mate needs to do number 1 really bad, he will argue about anything no matter how stupid just to be right. I often just choose my battles and let him be "right" most of the time, but it gets annoying fast. Also the blame one, he blames everyone for everything, from small things like failing at a video game, to big things like his dog getting sick. I hate that he gets mad and blames everything, makes playing video games with him annoying because even if its his fault he failed, he will blame others "Why where you guys not covering me" he would say in a shooter, for example.

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Hekseville Citizen
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013

Nah. Too tired/lazy to care.

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Lombax Warrior
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013

SideFX_A30 wrote:

My room mate needs to do number 1 really bad, he will argue about anything no matter how stupid just to be right. I often just choose my battles and let him be "right" most of the time, but it gets annoying fast. Also the blame one, he blames everyone for everything, from small things like failing at a video game, to big things like his dog getting sick. I hate that he gets mad and blames everything, makes playing video games with him annoying because even if its his fault he failed, he will blame others "Why where you guys not covering me" he would say in a shooter, for example.


A lot of people will do whatever possible to be right in the eyes of their peers. Most people like to think what they are doing is right all of the time. All through their childhood their parents and "friends" have either agreed with him or told him he was right for a long time. What aggravates me is these type of people. They're not open to any new ideas or concepts because it's their way or no way. They're never at fault. But we need to embrace these people. Just listen to him and don't try to fight. This doesn't mean you have to agree with him, but it will diffuse some nasty situations.

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Fender Bender
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013
**Lets keep this on topic and respectful to each other please**
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Welcoming Committee
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

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Dec 24, 2013

NoSunNoFun wrote:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

 

Sounds a lot like lowering my standards to where I make peace with mediocrity.  I can't see this happening.

 

  2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

 

When I do this I work twice as hard fixing everyone else's mess.  Just go away and let me do it right the first time.  BTW "everyone else" tends to be those people who don't care about being right all the time.  They just phone it in, say "Good enough...", and then act like I owe them for "helping".

 

  3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

 

If it's my fault, I take the blame.  If it's your fault, I will point the finger.  If you don't learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it.  Should I trust George Lucas to make another Star Wars movie after the last three he made?  Of course not.  They were all his fault.

 

  4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

 

I don't do this to myself anyway.  I know my limits and I know how far I can stretch.  I never erect artificial limits for myself.  But I probably will set such limits if it's for someone else who doesn't value my time or my assessment of the situation.

 

  5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

 

Sounds like something the guy said just before yelling "YOLO!" and jumping off the Empire State Building, expecting to fly.  Limits are good if you're bounded by reality.

 

  6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

 

Complaining, or publicly identifying the problem?  There's a huge pothole in the road.  If I put up a warning sign, is that me complaining or helping others to avoid it?  And if I tell someone entering the restaurant that the service really sucks today, am I complaining, or helping them avoid it?  I see it as a kindness to the next potential victim.

 

  7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

 

If I thought this way I might come to think that everything is perfect, which it isn't.  This is just self-delusion.  It's like when that one guy says "This is the greatest movie ever" about every movie he ever saw.  After a while a smart person would tune out his prattling nonsense.

 

  8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

 

I do the opposite.  I try to NOT impress others.  When you're good at so many things, others tend to look for you and get you to do their work.  These people are time thieves.  Do it yourself.  I've got my own priorities set already and you're slowing me down by talking.

 

  9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

 

This is one of those things where I really must invoke my 5 minute rule.  Anyone who blindly says that change is good clearly hasn't given the matter so much as 5 minutes of thought.  I find this insulting, because now I have to do your thinking.  You're being a time thief.

 

Cut off your leg.  That's not the same as how you woke up, and is therefore change.  According to you, that's good.  Sell your house, become homeless, and send me all the money you made selling the house.  That's change.  This took me 5 seconds to think about.  I'm keeping the remaining 4:55.

 

Change is good... yeah right


 
10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

 

The sooner you can categorize something, the sooner you can use a standard reaction to it.  If you can't categorize anything, then everything you experience will be new and unexpected, and you will be wholly unprepared to deal with the situation every time.

 

  11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

 

I'm afraid of large tigers with sharp teeth and long claws.  Should I jump the fence at the zoo so I can pet a tiger?  Most fear is there for a reason.  Irrational fear is not there for a reason.  Some people fear the number 13.  This isn't rational.  These fears can and should be abolished.  But fear of large hungry tigers is a fear I will choose to keep.


 
12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

 

But if I've already given up on the 99.9% of excuses that aren't even real, then 100% of my remaining excuses are based on reality.

 

  13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

 

Dogs live in the now.  Insects live in the now.  I've known people who lived only in the now, and they were unable to learn from the past.  They were also being continually blindsided by the future because they couldn't anticipate or plan coming events.

 

I spend a certain amount of time in the past, a certain amount in the future, and a certain amount in the now.  I can zen with the best of them.  Being able to revisit the past or envision the future in no way subtracts from my ability to live in the moment.  In fact, I teach people to go into the zone.

 

  14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

 

No.  Hate is the opposite of love.  Faith is the opposite of fear.  Love is not the opposite of fear.  The rest of that all fell apart for me when you got the love/fear thing wrong.  I don't see what you're trying to say.

 

  15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

 

Definitely.

 

http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/

 


 

 

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Welcoming Committee
Registered: 07/27/2012
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013

Very interesting list. But people can still be able to be happy even if they have some of this, right? 

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Sackboy
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013

SideFX_A30 wrote:

My room mate needs to do number 1 really bad, he will argue about anything no matter how stupid just to be right. I often just choose my battles and let him be "right" most of the time, but it gets annoying fast. Also the blame one, he blames everyone for everything, from small things like failing at a video game, to big things like his dog getting sick. I hate that he gets mad and blames everything, makes playing video games with him annoying because even if its his fault he failed, he will blame others "Why where you guys not covering me" he would say in a shooter, for example.


I remember roomies, those times where you thought moving in with your best friends was a grand idea....nothing beats having your own place, your food doesn't disappear from the fridge, when rent is due you don't get 'you know im good for it later.'  There aren't strangers over watching your tv and using your game console because your roomie said it was ok. And most importantly...the bathroom is always free.   :womanlol:

"You're as randomly lethal and entirely confused as you ever were."
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Lombax Warrior
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013
If my bathroom is always free I'll be happy. when I have my own place I'll have my own personal bathroom with a golden potty.
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Sackboy
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013

DrGadget wrote:

 

I'm afraid of large tigers with sharp teeth and long claws.  Should I jump the fence at the zoo so I can pet a tiger?  Most fear is there for a reason.  Irrational fear is not there for a reason.  Some people fear the number 13.  This isn't rational.  These fears can and should be abolished.  But fear of large hungry tigers is a fear I will choose to keep.

 


I pet tigers at the zoo all the time. I make them wash and fold my laundry too. You're weak.

Complete global saturation.
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VP of Gaming
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Re: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Dec 24, 2013

LongLiveHelghast wrote:

Nah. Too tired/lazy to care.


agreed i do what i gota do its not like i complaine for fun


"Palestinians and Islamists contribute nothing to society other than terror and chaos." - eminentfury
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