This is me laughing at the fact that you people let two of these "ask" thread flourish in my absence. I'm not taking this seriously by any means, and will not be answering any questions.
And JayJay, mad props yo for responding in post-form, rather than a tag. You're on the road to recovery.
Also, the well-being of Off-Topic is important to me. I have called this forum out twice due to lack of discussion and garbage threads. Since the last occasion, I have made a concerted effort at posting interesting or productive threads. I don't see your name anywhere under the "Author" list through the first five pages of this forum. You wanna complain? Contribute.