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Lombax Warrior
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

RavageX wrote:

Generally, if someone says hi or hello in real life, they may not get a whole conversation, but they will at least get a hello, hi, or good day back.

 

After reading more of this thread, it seems like people are really taking home to heart. For example...

 

You will never hear me going around saying an avatar is "hott" or "sexy". That's somewhat silly, as a matter of fact I don't even comment on someone's avatar unless it's strange looking, and I don't do so in a negative way.

 

Some of you make the whole, "talking on home" process out to sound like a date. "Breaking the ice" and "Making a good impression".....that's a bit much. Yeah a person shouldn't be disrespectful, rude, and such but to talk to people who all at least have one thing in common should not be all that difficult.

 

But again I suppose it's all based on whatever reason you start up home for. Someone earlier mentioned that in a way everyone's right, and everyone's wrong. I agree with that in a way.


I never mean breaking the ice in an "I'm looking for a date" way  to be clear. Why? To paraphrase, "Lets get something straight, I'm not." :smileytongue: So the last thing I want is guys hitting on me. It annoys me a lot when they do.

 

Keep in mind I don't out myself to get attention, it's to help make clear that I'm just wanting to help people form plutonic friendships even if it doesn't sound like it. I've no interest in what comes after people actually have conversations with eachother. I'm just interested in helping people make conversation.

 

 

Honestly, things are as they are. You need to make a good impression on a person in game and in real life. If you come off the wrong way in real life, people aren't going to react well. Not likely violently, but they'll not wanna talk to you as much.

 

Frankly, I don't like being called pet names by strangers that just started speaking to me a minute ago IRL either, on the subject of IRL.

 

If the person(s) approached are your friends, you're free to approach them any way you two (Or more) are comfortable online or off, but if you're strangers? Well, that's another story.

We all know there's right, and wrong ways to appraoch someone IRL, right?

It gets especially awkward when it's a guy talking to a woman, right?

 

Apparently there's diffirent, but no less detrimental ways to make a bad impression in Home. I.E. Using canned hello, sending a blind friend request, calling the wrong woman by familiar pet names when you just met them, spamming club invites, talking to a person looking at their PDA, or while they're playing a game, busting on a conversation and disrupting the flow, etc.

Too ways many to list, too many variables for each, IMO.

 

Society in Home has nuances to maing friends, and talking to others one may learn of in time. Maybe I'm wrong about it, but I just see it that way.

 

Maybe I am taking it too seriously, too, but remember, more often than not you're talking to another -person- and not some RPG NPC. That other person is, well, as human as anyone else. They have feelings, a desire to have fun, and can get annoyed as likely as anyone else, and are at greater liberty to show it via ignore, or simply walking away, or leaving the area. I tend t be on the latter side of things.

 

Just because it's an avatar you see doesn't mean you get to treat the person behind it any worse than you would another person.

 

Yeah, I come off as a hypocrite with that, but I have my reasons for not being friendly, and not nice. Maybe when I run into more people that respect me than wanna treat me diffirent, I'll change coz I've long grown weary of putting up with it. Hence why I simply flee people running at me, and sometimes come off as rude to people that used canned "hello", or otherwise fumble in trying to talk to me. It saves us both time better spent doing things that interest us.

 

And, hey, I recognize I might not be nice in ignoring people who used canned greetings, but honestly, I don't wanna talk to people that wanna know my name, where I live, how old I am, or if I have a picture, or wanna call me pet names (Which is pretty much every person that's talked to me on Home that I didn't know beforehand!). I don't give out personal information, and being asked for it is a red flag for some reason. Maybe when people just walk away after I tell them I don't give out personal information that they seem more interested in ... a bunch of useless info IMO, as opposed to getting to know me as a person who has other interests besides A/S/L. Yeah, that could be a clue. :smileytongue:

 

With my history in making friends (Yes, believe it or not, I have quite a few!)  not a scrap of personal info is remotely necesary, even online.

 

Truth be told, I value my time more than talking to people that think what ever it is they think when they call me pet names. I don't even wanna know what they think.

 

By the way, I wanna make it clear, I don't -hate- men outright, if I've ever given the impression. I've had exceedingly rare decent conversations with some of them, and may have more in the future! It's just that women rarely talk to me in Home of their own accord, so most of my bad experiences happen with male avatars.

 

 

On an end note, to end my rambling, women on Home are most likely gamers since they have a game console. Treat them like gamers. You might find that they're more receptive when you talk to them like they're a gamer, or even a guy than if you talk to them like they're a girl.

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Sackboy
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

I agree with you on most of your points. I still disagree on "hello" and will just accept that there will be different views on that for everyone due to personal experience.

 

I will also say that your experience seems to have you a bit jaded, which I can see that happening to anyone who is somewhat of a minority in gaming(women, races, whatever).

 

I still believe that alienating people just from the way they greet someone leads to a lot of missed chances at meeting others you might really get along with, but that's just what I think.

 

I believe that no more points can be made, so I'll leave this discussion alone. I just feel like this is beginning to be a disturbing trend, I hope that it doesn't rub other users of home the wrong way and causes them to give up on it. 

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PlayStation MVP
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

io-knight wrote:

My guess is the players behind those avatars are not even female - probably some adolescent boys doing it (purposely as you suggested) for some immature S's and G's.


True, although I'm sure a good number of them are females. I don't condone that type of dress just for the purpose of attracting attention. At the least they should be wearing wraps if not at a beach.

 

It is interesting though how some will dress differently in a virtual world who I'm sure wouldn't dream of dressing that way in a public place in real life. Dressing that way in Central Plaza no less is just asking for trouble and It's inexcusable to be rude to people if they approach you when dressed that way.

 

Personally I haven't seen much difference though in being approached regardless of my dress.I don't spend much time in Central. Women do have so many options now that dressing in a bikini is really a bit over the top if not at a beach.

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I Only Post Everything
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

 


LeahM75 wrote:

Levasaurus wrote:
Ah, but Raven, I have walked around as a female avatar and it's not really as bad as some make it out to be. Try not to be so sensitive?

 

Try being a female NOT dressed in default clothing. Spend a dollar or two on female clothes and you'll begin to understand.

 

 


Why would I spend MY hard-earned money on something I'll never use? I was doing it on Home when girls barely had clothing to buy. So yes, they were pretty crazy if you put on those shorts and tank top back then. You're not going to convince me it's THAT bad because I've already walked in the shoes you're talking about out of pure fun, not to mention my girlfriend at that time used to use Home and she didn't wear default clothing and never really got harassed. A lot of female avatars bring it on themselves and don't act like they don't. You dress like a ho, you'll get treated like one.

 

 


Lev - Officer of LoS


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Lombax Warrior
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

 


io-knight wrote:

My guess is the players behind those avatars are not even female - probably some adolescent boys doing it (purposely as you suggested) for some immature S's and G's.


 

 

They may or may not be females, but you can usually spot the fakers by their usernames, sometimes by the games they play, or the way they talk.  Most of those guys aren't going to spend a lot of money on female clothing, though some actually do.  For example, if you see some female avatar dressed in default female clothing with the username Zombielord, it's a pretty good bet that they aren't female.

 

But one thing is certain, there are definitely some females on Home that have this "MEAN GIRLS" type attitude, like this is high school or something, as if there's some kind of  social pecking order in Home.   For that matter, there are some guys that have that attitude too, and they to central plaza to "mess with the noobs", a statement I've seen in this very forum.  Anyway, the point is that a lot of people, even veterans, get the cold shoulder when using the pre-installed "Hello", as if it's the equivalent of some cuss word now.  And that's just sad.

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Splicer
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

This conversation has gotten so far away from the original intention. Now it's just a fight over whether or not people are being cold to newbies.

 

That's not what this is supposed to be about. It's obvious people have very divided opinions on how to respond to "Hello". From what I'm seeing, almost no one has said "Tell people who use preinstalled commands to screw off." So there really shouldn't be an arguement here. We have the people saying "Hello" can be suspicious, and people saying "Hello" is good enough and other people are mean. So far, no one is petitioning to remove the preinstalled phrases from the game, so is it really worth 5 pages of posts arguing it?

 

kikaider, you raise some good points, but you also chose to photograph the extreme cases. Yes, the people wearing bikinis in central plaza or the Singstar space ARE asking to be surrounded by people hitting on them, but take into consideration the modestly dressed people who have the same problem.

 

That's where the problem arises and that's why people tend to be cautious.

 

People shouldn't take it personal, it's not that anyone is being cold to you. It's that the person before you ruined it by being one of those "u have pics?" people. When people ask "how old r u?" or "do u have pics?" it's annoying, and if you have suspicion that it may happen again, you'll be cautious. It's not being cold, it's being suspicious. I'm sorry that some people have run into bad eggs in Home that will be cold to people for no reason. There's people out there like that, but a lot of the accusations being made are unfair.

 

Let's just leave it at a medium of understanding. One side will understand that harassment that causes the other to be cautious, and in exchange the other side will understand that normal people are getting offended when they're too cautious.

 

Now we can leave that argument in the ground and let the thread go back to what it's supposed to be about. Sending friend requests. That's what this thread was intended for. People can start a thread about the preinstalled commands if they'd like, but I'm not arguing it anymore. I made this thread for all the random friend requests that I get, and trying to let the people on the forums know that unless they want to be deleted like the 150 "u got pics?" friend requests, they should introduce themselves and talk to people in-game before sending a request. That's the point of this message. Discussion of random friend requests, how to deal with them, and how to make sure you don't become one.

 

I'm sorry if I'm getting nasty sounding, this thread has gotten out of control and it's just too bitter now.

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Wastelander
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

 

Patience can pay off. Nice case in point last night in Central Plaza: I was wearing my new Ukiyo-e Kimono and the Nefertiti Earrings (an excellent combination, by the way) and was approached by a male avatar who opened with "hi", then "where are u from?" I didn't expect much from him based on that, but I countered with some detailed remarks about the chilly spring weather in DC, to put him on notice that I can "type your ear off" if I have a mind to, that I have a keyboard, and I know how to use it.

 

"So do you like anime?" he asked. Well, the kimono might have been a dead giveaway, but most people won't make that leap unless they are fond of the genre themselves. Soon we were chattering away about our favorite series, our hobbies (he draws manga), our feelings about war games, and age in Home. He was not scared off by the Real Age revelation, despite being 21; we ended up friending each other, with a promise to continue the conversation.

 

This is someone I would not have met, had I gone with my initial impression that he was a clueless kid. But I do have to admit his first two questions gave me no cause to hope for more. Sometimes you only have a few seconds to impress someone. Use them wisely.

 

Seal

 

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Treasure Hunter
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Re: Friending Etiquette

Mar 30, 2010

 


SealWyf wrote:

 

Patience can pay off. Nice case in point last night in Central Plaza: I was wearing my new Ukiyo-e Kimono and the Nefertiti Earrings (an excellent combination, by the way) and was approached by a male avatar who opened with "hi", then "where are u from?" I didn't expect much from him based on that, but I countered with some detailed remarks about the chilly spring weather in DC, to put him on notice that I can "type your ear off" if I have a mind to, that I have a keyboard, and I know how to use it.

 

"So do you like anime?" he asked. Well, the kimono might have been a dead giveaway, but most people won't make that leap unless they are fond of the genre themselves. Soon we were chattering away about our favorite series, our hobbies (he draws manga), our feelings about war games, and age in Home. He was not scared off by the Real Age revelation, despite being 21; we ended up friending each other, with a promise to continue the conversation.

 

This is someone I would not have met, had I gone with my initial impression that he was a clueless kid. But I do have to admit his first two questions gave me no cause to hope for more. Sometimes you only have a few seconds to impress someone. Use them wisely.

 

Seal

 


 

 

This is EXACTLY the point I was trying to make earlier in this thread. Kudos!

 

One says hello

The other says hi

It's only after the greetings that one can judge someone else IMO

But, if you judge from "hello", you can't possibly know what that person has in mind

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Monster Hunter
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May 22, 2010
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